As a young Christian at Michigan State University I read Shadow of the Almighty, Elizabeth Eliot’s stirring presentation of the well-known life of her late husband Jim. The book inspired many, I’m told, but it messed me up. I was in love, but was I supposed to get married? Wasn’t it better to be single? Maybe marriage was a temptation to give less to God.

Nevertheless, I got married.

I’ve always been susceptible to extreme ways of thinking about the Christian life which, in the end, I have found unhelpful. How we think about life and ministry, if not carefully curated, can set us up for burnout. To survive in ministry, I’ve needed to find ways to think differently.

Clarify expectations

Thinking differently is hard for us. We enter ministry with certain expectations and unspoken definitions of success which may need to be reframed. M. Craig Barnes, the President of Princeton Theological Seminary, senses this deeply.

“The hardest thing about being a pastor today is not the long hours, the demanding congregations, the eclectic responsibilities, the fishbowl existence, or the relentless returns of Sundays. . . . Only within the last two generations have the clergy been forced to bear an additional burden that is far from light — confusion about what it means to be the pastor.”1

That confusion exists not only in the pastor’s mind, but in the mind of the congregation as well. Some of the best resources out there2 are designed to help pastors dig out from underneath all the competing visions of what they are to be and to emerge with some clarity regarding how God has uniquely made them and what he has called them to do. Frequent recourse to these resources is invaluable.

Resist Pastoring by Slogan

Along with clarifying our expectations, we need to close our ears to hyper-spiritualized slogans. The Christian cannot live by slogan alone. Meant to motivate, they often enslave. The challenge, “Don’t Waste Your Life,” for example, was aimed to orient a younger generation toward a God-centered passion. But slogans take on a life of their own. Before long we are asking whether requesting that extra week’s vacation is really a concession to worldliness. Such thinking is not helpful and can set us up for burnout.

In our ministries, we and our flock are challenged to “strive for excellence.” Excellence is of course a good thing. But the so-called pursuit of excellence puts unreachable and constantly moving targets in front of exhausted churches. It leaves no room for hiccups in our worship or typos on the church website. Some pastors are led to plagiarize sermons from celebrity pastors. “Striving for excellence” can be a cleverly veiled impetus to covet things we have not been given and which we are okay without. The relentless pursuit of perfection may serve the Lexus brand strategy, but it’s deadly for pastors and their congregations.

We need to put the slogans to bed. They’re not helping us, and they push us closer to the edge of burnout.

But wait! Wouldn’t you “rather burn out than rust out in the service of the Lord?”3 Let’s opt for neither. Let’s rather labor on and finish the race.

Cultivate Pastoral Friendships

In the end, few things can help us think clearly like a few good friends. Such friends can help us see through the slogans. Friends can talk us down from our overly-lofty expectations. Friends can hear our hearts, empathize with our brokenness, and agonize with us through the dark days. Make the finding and keeping of true friends a goal.4

Our modern era’s commitment to hyper-productivity works against this, however. Friendships will only form and grow when pastors are willing to sit together without an agenda. A gathering of pastors in my city exists simply to let pastors form friendships with each other. Some who attend stop attending because, they say, “You don’t do anything.” That’s the point. We don’t. We are as likely to discuss pets as we are ministry.

I sat with two of them last week, deeply troubled. Their friendship allowed for some honest and re-centering conversation. Our years of doing nothing had become something.

Pursue Wisdom

Those times when we cannot think clearly are the times when we need friendship more than ever. In friendship we can get past the fog, rise above the slogans, and find wisdom. In E. B. White’s classic Charlotte’s Web, Wilbur, the anxious, curious, and beloved barnyard pig, is befriended by the kind, patient, and creative spider Charlotte.5 Charlotte’s creativity and advocacy save Wilbur’s life. But her presence in the darkness of the night, her calming voice, and her listening ear lead Wilbur toward the kind of wisdom that settles and emboldens his heart.

Misshapen expectations and misapplied slogans pull us toward the precipice of burnout. Wisdom draws us back.

Above all, and possibly in these ways, get wisdom.

Thanks for reading Greatheart’s Table. If you’d like to help support this work, you can do so by dropping a few coins in my tip jar here. Thanks!

1

M. Craig Barnes, The Pastor as Minor Poet (United States: Eerdmans Publishing Company, 2009), p. 4.

2

In addition to Barnes’ book, and Peterson’s The Contemplative Pastor, which I’ve often recommended, Zack Eswine offers The Imperfect Pastor.

3

A saying discussed and dismissed by Bob Burns and his co-writers in their book Resilient Ministry (United States: InterVarsity Press, 2013), p. 61.

4

I have more to say about ministerial friendship here and here. I do hear rumblings⁠ that friendship is being taken as a serious aspect of avoiding burnout. Consider here and here.

5

Of whom it was beautifully said, “It is not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good writer. Charlotte was both.” [E. B. White, Charlotte’s Web (United States: HarperCollins Publishers, 1952), p. 184.]

Greatheart's Table

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