Gentle and Lonely

In the similitude of a dream

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I was in need of a day away: a day to pray, to study, and to gather my thoughts. So I collected my Bible, a couple of books, and my journal and headed to a religious retreat center near the church. The beauty, the quiet, and the lack of distraction I found there had often before been a balm for my soul. I needed it. I arrived, and the understanding staff assigned me a room on the second floor with a porch overlooking a courtyard. Temperatures were mild and so I settled with my book into a chair on the porch.

Whether I slept I can’t say. But the memory of that day is crystal clear. I lifted my eyes from my book and was captivated by a group of nine conversing around a table in the courtyard beneath me. I momentarily considered giving them their privacy, but I found I couldn’t move. These were, I came to realize, the fruit of the Spirit reflecting among themselves on the state of their work and their effectiveness.

One identified himself as Love. He spoke with a tinge of frustration. He had the status of a celebrity. Everyone spoke of him, sang songs about him, claimed to want him, claimed to know him. And yet few recognized him or really wanted him around when he actually showed up.

Kindness and Goodness joined in this lament. They desired to move people’s hearts to care for others and to speak charitably to and of them. But their enemy Blindness continued to frustrate their work, persuading people that they only had to be good and to show kindness to those whom they judged to deserve it.

Peace had some good things to report, and those gathered around the table joined in celebrating with her. More and more persons around the world were hearing the gospel of the grace of Jesus and learning that God was not their enemy. At the same time, she was confounded. How, she wondered, could a people who understood peace with God not also see the priority of peace with their brothers and sisters? Her work, she reported, was seeing too little progress in that direction.

Self-control, too, had mixed news. In January people begged for his help so that they could try harder and reach further and dig deeper. But by mid-January fewer and fewer reached out to him. And the areas where he longed to be busy, in helping people gain mastery over their tongue, for example, for that task he rarely is sought.

Faithfulness nodded his head to this. Many Christian leaders, it seemed, neglecting the offers of Self-control, were falling into abusive behavior, into secret pleasures, and into extreme political positions, which had empowered Faithfulness’s old enemy now going by the name Deconstruction. Many young believers, he said, were neglecting faithfulness and being led to question their faith and flirt with this enemy.

Patience and Joy reported that they were a very popular pair. People often sought them out. Of course, when Patience is invited to show up, she quickly finds herself unwelcome. Many only ask for her once and then send her away. And Joy is shy. She is happy to make an appearance, but never alone. She needs the support of her dear friends Trust and Forgiveness. But most want her without her friends, and so she shrinks back into the shadows.

But one of the nine was strangely quiet. He seemed hesitant to speak. He sat quietly, almost unnoticed, with his head down. Even from my distance, when he would raise his head I could see the glistening of a tear on his face. Finally, Kindness, noticing his quietness, spoke tenderly to him. “Gentleness, you seem to be distressed,” he said. “I wonder what is in your heart?”

There was quiet in the air for what seemed an eternity. Finally, Gentleness spoke. “Why am I even here?” he asked. Plaintively he noted that few ever sought his assistance. What he has to offer, he pointed out, is central to everything, and yet no one seems to ever pray for Gentleness to show up. That Jesus was known for his gentleness seems to matter little to modern Christians. When people seek wisdom, they seem to forget that the wisdom that is from God is gentle.^⁠¹ But it is not normally gentle people who are esteemed. Rather, those who bully, who have clever and sharp rejoinders, who are skilled at mockery gain attention. Power is in vogue, not mercy. “Even those who publish books about me,” he cried, “often don’t know me at all.” And so Gentleness said he spends most of his time alone, neglected, unsought, and unable to be the gift he could be to God’s divided church.

I finally had to pull myself away. My heart was stung, and my spirit was heavy. I would not be the same. I knew now for what I needed to pray. I knew better the help I needed. And I particularly wanted to be more acquainted with, and perhaps to become a steady companion of, lonely Gentleness.

I, for one at least, need his company.

1. Gentleness was in fact correct in this. James 3:17 says “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without a trace of partiality or hypocrisy.”