A Modest (Dare We Say 'Winsome'?) Proposal
Growing too fond of snark
To read the book of Job is to watch the characters hurl pointed words at each other. “No doubt you are the people, and wisdom will die with you,” mocks Job. Eliphaz counters, “Should a wise man answer with windy knowledge?”
Not very winsome, these guys.
I note that because in my itty bitty corner of the Christian world, “winsome” has fallen on hard times. It’s weak, we’re told. It’s the pathway for compromise. A slippery slope.
And, it’s worth noting, being winsome is an excruciatingly slow path to internet renown.
Winsome, in my world, has always had to fight off its challengers as a way of managing disagreement. The art of the snarky jibe has been for some time worn as a badge of honor. Gary North in 1985 championed Greg Bahnsen’s By This Standard by daring opponents to play Bambi against Bahnsen’s Godzilla.
The clever backstab was Doug Wilson’s stock-in-trade long before the internet was a gleam in its creator’s eyes. And in Mark Driscoll’s “young, restless, and Reformed” stage he said he was “. . . just like the old Calvinists; just nicer” all the while perfecting his poisonous repartee. Social media has simply made this long established practice easier and more quickly rewarded.It doesn’t seem to matter that the insult has been tried and found wanting. Clever and hurtful words fly and fans cheer even though no minds are changed and no hearts reached.
Years ago I listened to a series of lectures from a national conference addressing the doctrine of creation. The platform was studded with a who’s who of respected evangelicals. One after the other these preachers and theologians spoke with mocking condescension toward their opponents. Were I one with sympathies for a contrary position I would have walked away having heard nothing and with a more deeply entrenched resolve to keep my distance.
To be winsome is to listen, to understand, and then to speak in a way that will be heard. If we want the truth of historic Christianity to be understood by a confused and aimless world, winsomeness is our friend and insult our vice. If it’s Jesus we want to present, approaching others in a Jesus-like way seems the sensible path.
Jesus and Paul both used powerful pictorial imagery
aimed at targets proven to be deaf to them. Jesus calls the Pharisees “whitewashed tombs,” and Paul labels the Judaizers “dogs.” But those particular notes are not the whole symphony. On the whole their words were marked with charity. They spoke in ways that could be heard. Paul on Mars Hill gathered up the language of his listeners and deployed it so that the offense of the resurrection might land on more receptive hearts. That is, he was winsome. Peter’s passion for others to understand and embrace the truth led him to be honest and direct in his preaching. He modeled, and he taught, that the way for truth to be heard was to adorn it with gentleness and respect.Paul challenges us to bear the family likeness of Jesus’ brothers and sisters. We’re to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which [we] have been called.”
He parades before us a list of attributes that seem startlingly nice. Our words are to be “only such as [are] good for building up.” We are to have nothing to do with “bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander.” We are to be known as those who are “kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.” These things do not come without effort, and they certainly do not gain the acclaim that comes from the clever one-liner. But they are like Jesus, and that matters.It’s not insignificant that insult and sarcasm had no place in the rhetorical tool kit of men like John Stott. It was empathy and winsomeness that gave his words their power. And his Christ-like character led people to listen.
It shouldn’t be that hard to speak charitably. To hear what is good in those whose views or actions we oppose, and to speak into that in a way that can be heard should be the norm. But it takes time and gains no popular attention and no new followers. Shaming, on the other hand, is quick and quickly rewarded. And though wrong, it’s hard to police. One man’s heartless slander is another’s boldness. Snark may be a sin for which no earthly discipline exists.
Reportedly, Robert E. Lee once said, “It is well that war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it.”
We have grown too fond of the smart-ass insult because we have closed our eyes to the terrible devastation it leaves in its wake. My heart breaks over the mess our verbal cleverness has made of Christianity’s public witness.The urge to find the tender spot in our opponents’ armor and to exploit it so that they might bleed is an ever-present temptation.
At times I’ve wished I were better at it.
I’m glad that I’m not.
Job 12:2 and 15:2.
Greg Bahnsen, By This Standard (United States: Institute for Christian Economics, 1985).
I’m not against the clever use of language. I’m concerned for its target and intent. A good-natured jibe can be delivered with respect. In once debating apologetic method with R. C. Sproul, O. Palmer Robertson began his rebuttal, “The Sproul is more subtle than any other beast in the field.” Clever, pointed, and delivered among friends in a context in which his respect for Sproul was clear.
Matthew 23:27 and Philippians 3:2.
Acts 17:22-34
1 Peter 3:13-17
Ephesians 4:1
Ephesians 4:29-32
May our Lord help us to communicate in a manner consistent with His Word - which you have done so faithfully in this post. Thank you, Randy.
Amen! Amen! Amen! Although . . . are you correct when you say, "To hear what is good in those whose views or actions we oppose, and to speak into that in a way that can be heard . . . gains no popular attention and no new followers"--or, as you said a few paragraphs earlier, "is an excruciatingly slow path to internet renown"? Must it be that way?
Or, perhaps, you have pointed to the wisdom of Jesus' way, the way of relying upon faithfulness in the little things--the daily exercise regimen that takes place faithfully, behind the scenes, quietly, unseen . . . only to burst forth onto the world stage at the appropriate moment, when no one expects it. The one who has been faithful in the little is suddenly seen for his or her faithfulness in much.
I pray that such may be said of you.