Conversation and Connection
Third Monday / December, '24
Hello! Third Monday posts are more incidental, personal, and situational comments on the possibilities and circumstances of ministry, as well as on my life in general. Let me know what you think at randy@greatheartstable.com or in the comments below.
I
Greatheart’s Table is written as a newsletter which is also reproduced as a podcast for those who prefer their content in audio form. The podcast, I like to point out, is the audiobook version of the newsletter.
That is true roughly 92.3% of the time.
The other 7.7% of the time, or every fifth Monday, Greatheart’s Table moves solely to the podcast side to present unscripted interviews with interesting and gifted men and women who bring unique insight regarding pastoral ministry.
I will always alert newsletter subscribers when one of these conversations appears, but you can also follow Greatheart’s Table on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify to make sure you don’t miss them.
The next of these will air on December 30, and is with two men whose many years of pastoral experience fuel their shared passion for helping other pastors persevere in ministry. If you’re a pastor, you’ll find some practical pathways opened up for you. If you’re not a pastor, you’ll gain insight into the world of the pastor you have. Either way, it’s worth a listen. It was greatly encouraging as well as challenging for me to hear from these men.
II
I love doing these “Rainy Day Conversations around Greatheart’s Table.”1 The guests are smart and often funny, and they care deeply for the topics we discuss. I don’t structure these like one might structure a press conference. Rather, I attempt to replicate a conversation around a table, which is more than a metaphor here at Greatheart’s Table.
Recently I stumbled across this brief article which articulates what I and apparently many others are trying to do. Listeners to conversational podcasts are looking for more than information. They’re looking for connection. That pastors need such connection is a recurring theme for me. Having these conversations is another a step toward relieving the deep sense of aloneness that many pastors feel.
My hope is that building such connections remotely might create a desire for pastors, and others, to find deeper connection where they are, with real and present, flesh and blood humans.
III
Conversations that some of us find hard to have are conversations with people who are grieving the loss of a loved one. What should we say to them? Unsure of what to say, we fear saying something foolish, and so sometimes say nothing at all.
I’ve had reason to ponder this recently from the side of the recipient. When my sister-in-law died a month ago, many people said many things to my brother, and to me. One friend said simply, “I’m sorry for your loss.” It could be easy to judge that as a meaningless cliché. But I didn’t receive it that way. Because she was a friend, I knew the heart lying behind those words. The comment was received as I knew it was intended: full of care and concern. The impact arose not from the words themselves, but from the relationship that lay behind those words. In the end, what matters is the relationship, not simply the words.
The Christmas cards I receive this time of year from seminaries and other organizations I’ve been connected with wish me joy and good tidings and they mean nothing to me. If a friend, however, sends a similar greeting and scribbles a note on it, the card is transformed.
If you don’t know what to say to a friend who has lost someone, just say that you’re sorry. They will see your heart through those words, and that is what will matter.
IV
It may or may not be true, but I was told recently that Tesla cars do not fare well in northern climates. I empathize. I’ve lived in Florida for nearly forty years now, and while there are many things that I wish I could change, the weather is not one of them. As Barb and I were walking from our car to my brother’s house in Loveland, Ohio two weekends ago, the temperature was a balmy 20º F. Barb said, “Remind me never to move back here.” I don’t think I’ll need to remind her.
V
If you are heading for warmer places over the holidays or any other time, and you find yourself in or around Orlando, Florida, on a Sunday morning, we’d love to have you join us for worship at our church, Covenant Presbyterian Church. Our service begins at 9:30 AM in Oviedo, a community northeast of Orlando, a few minutes north of the campus of the University of Central Florida. Though we are not near the theme parks, we can be reached within 45 minutes of them.
If you visit, be sure to introduce yourself. Barb and I would love to give you a warm (!) greeting.
Randy: You are really good at connecting. There can be no doubt that heartfelt handwritten note on a Christmas card trumps the form letter and packaged card any day of the week. One thing which makes my communication more personal with people is to not forget to use their names when I am originating or responding to communication, i.e., "Randy: You are really good at connecting."